From the Novel "The Impostor"

My last post reminded of something I wrote a long time ago.

George remembers a poster on the wall in a stairwell of his high school that read, “Who you are is a matter of how you spend your time.” Was there a picture with it? It was just a generic sentiment, of a type he would encounter again and again in the capacity of elevator serviceman for public schools. His school, though, was a private, Catholic one. And now the idea of one’s identity as a function of spent time strikes him as bourgeois, predicated as it is on one’s freedom to choose how to spend that time. At the time, insofar as he paid the poster any attention, he considered it a truism, too obvious to need pointed out. So, he wonders now, is identity itself a luxury, what biologists would call costly signaling? Perhaps the blue collars are closer to the mark when they implicitly take as the more crucial matter that of worth rather than identity. They play their worst life game, at once complaining and bragging about all the responsibilities they have to shoulder, because they’re desperate to establish beyond dispute their indispensability. A man can spend all his time doing things that are interesting, and he himself might even be interesting as a result—an intricate and profound personage—but what’s he ultimately worth? Or a man can devote his days to toil, providing for his dependent and spendthrift wife and his ingrate children, never complaining (except when he does), and he’s worth the world to the company he works for and the family he supports.